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Being yourself - the first and most important step!
Heard about the woman who phones up the talk-show host to complain?
She says that for twenty years she has been trying to get her husband to change and now he is not the same man she married.
Socrates maintained that, as Human Beings, we identify with five different selves.
Who we think we are; who we want to be; who we want others to think we are; who we really are and who we can become.
Confusing isn't it. Schizophrenics probably identify with a lot more "selves'.
We are inclined to wear 'masks' all day long just to fit in. One for our 'significant other', one for our friends, one for our work colleagues, one for our boss, one for our parents, one for our subordinates, one for our family, one for our customers, one for strangers ... and so on, and on. Imagine our confusion and overwhelm if all these people were to collect in one place for us to interact with at the same time - talk about crisis management.
So why the deception? Why would we go to all the trouble of trying to be who we are not for so many people, many of whom matter so little in our lives?
The answer that springs readily to mind is twofold. One, we don't know who we really are, and two, fear.
The first answer is scary enough. This question has foxed thinkers, sages, philosophers and 'John Q. Public' since first we recognized the illusion that we are separate from all others on this planet, perhaps even the universe.
A frantic dichotomy of trying to fit in while being different at the same time ensued spawning whole industries to cater for our confusion of needs. The biggest house, the smallest cell phone, the latest gadgets, the coolest hairdo, the smartest kids, the corner office, the ... list is endless. The answer of course lies not in the shell of our clogged lives, but in the last place we think to look - inside.
The second answer, fear is equally insidious. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection, fear of being alone, fear of not being good enough, fear of not being loved, fear of fear itself.
Of course there is fear and then there is FEAR. Fear of being eaten by a sabre tooth tiger, being burned at the stake or being mugged is a natural in-built defensive mechanism the usefulness of which is attested to by the fact that we still exist as a species, despite the total onslaught of evolutionary weeding out processes over the last few million years of human existence.
FEAR though is a horse from a different safari. Call it psychological fear if you will, actually hinders rather than helps.
Why are we so afraid of 'being ourselves', of being open, honest and authentic with those around us and most of all with ourselves. It would certainly save a lot of drama, trauma and money. The reason, I guess is personal to each of us but generic in nature.
It comes back to reason number one. We don't really know who we are or for that matter who anyone else is. This is exacerbated by the fact that we, like world powers trapped in the 'arms race' and 'balance of power' dilemma, are afraid to risk the first step lest we be labeled different, strange, weird, and are ostracized, shunned, ridiculed or rejected.
To be accepted by the world at large we must first be able to accept ourselves, warts and all. This starts with a journey of self discovery, to find and accept who we really are.
Only then can we fulfil our destiny - to become more.
Whatever that means to each of us.
-- Author Unknown
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